A blast from the past got me thinking.

Not only am i a blogger, a tweeter and all other hats..i am a face booker too. I was reading some comments on a very old friends {old as in known a long time, 20+ years!} wall today. He is separated from his children's partner. His son has been in an accident recently and his ex wife is holding him {my friend} responsible for this! So i messaged him and offered to be an ear if needed!
I was pleasantly surprised when he called me up to chat! We talked life, old days, kids, everything! It was such fun! He really cheered me up..and i didn't know i was needing a pick-me-up!
I hope the call did him some good too.

But i have been thinking so much about the laying of blame. It's so sad when adults blame each other for things that happen with their children. Sure it's ok to think things, but to say them or write them where the children can see or hear is plain wrong and downright mean if you ask me.
Crumbs, every time Rich went away when he was a soldier, at least one of the kids got hospitalised! I never forget ringing him in Iraq to tell him, very tearfully, that i had "broken the baby". David had a broken arm and i was devastated. But if i think back to this time, or when Rae lost her two front teeth and had to have them reset or when David was hospitalised while Daddy was in Poland, my husband never once blamed me! And nor would he. Not because we're still married but because no matter what he knows i LOVE our children. I never blamed him when Rachel got a huge black eye in his care while i was working. If you are the one caring, whether you are married, together or apart for whatever circumstances, you WILL and DO beat yourself up about these things. Children get in accidents. It happens. I could not have stopped David breaking his arm, nor getting so ill he was in hospital for days, nor could Rich have stopped Rae getting her black eye but we still blamed ourselves. It's what you do. And kids get over it waaay before grown ups, showing off casts and stitches or bruises as if they were the coolest things.
So come on parents, do not blame each other for accidents that happen to your children. Accidents DO happen, think of the kids and put them first. If you love them anyway.

A good week in the making!

Well i have been slack this week. I wanted to sit here and type. I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings. I just didn't. No idea why, every time i sat to type i felt like i really did not want to share what was going on.
So now I'm here. And guess what, I'm going to be offloading!

Where to start really.

Well Monday, A sad day but a good day! Monday should have been the 10th birthday of the baby boy we lost in 1998. Baby "J". So he was on my mind. All the whys coming back, the what ifs and maybes. Some things are out of our control. I guess there really is a bigger plan and it is not always the one we plan for ourselves.
I got a new job though so i guess he was watching over his ol' Mum!

Tuesday: Yup i accepted my new job and handed my notice in at my current job. It was easier to do than i thought so i guess it was the right thing to do. We had really bad weather in the UK. So floods everywhere and icy roads too! Drove the car through a deeper than i thought puddle. Killed it. oops. Told hubby, hubby not impressed. Bigger oops!

Wednesday: Borrowed BFF car to get to work and kids to school. Hubby still cross. Boss giving cold shoulder but to be expected i guess. Ah well. Half way through the week and things are not going my way!

Thursday: Hubby gets new car (second hand, will do for now car.) for me. Mother in car accident, she was rear ended! She's OK though.

Friday: Collected new second hand car, it's nice :) School is out for half term break so have a week off work! Went to dinner with one of my wonderful friends and her new man! He is lovely and it is wonderful to see her so happy with a nice guy. I really liked him, straight away. He is funny, lovely and it's easy to see he adores her.

So now i am here, arrived at Saturday and the week seems to be picking up..shame there is only one day left of it!!

Have a great Valentines Day all. I'm spending mine in peace and quiet with my 3 lovely children :)

This man.

This man is my best friend.
He is probably the only person who truly knows me, what makes me tick and how to read me.
This man believes in me, whole hearted, unquestioningly.
This man can make me laugh or giggle like a school girl, he can make me cry, he frustrates me, he is my everything.
This man's hands have held mine, they have held me, they have reached out to me when i needed them to and they have just rested gently on me when i needed to know they were there. They have written to me from Iraq, Canada, Poland and various other places. Letters i still hold dear and read from time to time.
This man's hands fix things, they make things and they were the first hands to hold three small babies when they made their way into the world. This man's hands hold my heart in them, so strong and so gently that i know it is safe there. This man, the father of my children, is my reason for being. He is my reason for smiles, laughter and love. He is my soul mate, my best friend and my lover. This man, this lovely gentle caring man is everything and more to me. I do not tell him often enough how he really makes me feel. Our lives so busy with working and raising our family. So my wonderful man, thank you for loving me the way you do, thank you for our lovely children, thank you for just being you...my husband. I love you.

Christmas photos and merryment!

One of my favourite things about Christmas is when the kids are all asleep and the tree is surrounded by gifts, the lights are low and the wine is flowing! Our tree always looks so small compared to the amount of gifts under it. (Then i think of "Octamom" and "Boy Mom" and smile at the thought of how their trees look!!) So here is our tree before the children woke on Christmas morning.

The Tree.

Then there is the childrens faces when (if) they get the one gift that they wished so hard for, the gift they did the dishes for (in December anyway) the one prize that would make this Christmas the best one "ever".

Rachel and the "new coat"

Becky and the "grown up make-up set!"

And David the "Clone Trooper" with "Gordon" the monkey puppet!

Then there is family! Since Christmas day we have now spent 2 days at home, yesterday and today! On boxing day we visited Rich's family (no pics i forgot my camera..aaaagh) and then on the 27th we visited my family. It is always so great to see the cousins together and here the all are..

Back - Becky, Elouise and Rae.
Front - Jack and David!

So yes it is pretty safe to say that this was their "best Christmas e-v-e-r". With all gifts opened and peace restored the children are playing with their toys, or watching new DVD's, reading new books, applying make up or bathing with bath bombs! Lego all over the place and go-go's under foot we can now sit back and enjoy the gifts we recieved...until our next Christmas...Jan 01. 2009 when we visit our "best friends in the world" for the day, a tradition we started around 3 or 4 years ago. We stay away from each other over Chrsitmas to allow family and other friends to visit and new year is our day. I am looking ofrward ot it very much particularly this year as K has been seriously ill recently and we were all worried that Christmas may not go ahead as planned with them. All is well now though and we can look to 2009 without worries and concerns for him. (K - i am so glad you are better we love you tons!).

The seasons are a changing!

Well my good friend Octamom has posted about her favourite season...Fall! Well ladies and gents i too am an Autumn person (Fall, to those of you on the other side of the pond!).
So why am i an autumn person? Well like Octamom I was born in the Autumn, all 3 of my children are Autumn babies (not planned that way but hey it works for us!) and i just love everthing about the season.
I grew up in Germany mainly as a child where the nights are colder, crisper where there are more colours around you than you should see on trees, where the frost settles on cars early in the morning, so too the grass and wooden fences. The morning air is so cold it almost hurts your lungs to breathe too deeply. But the things i love the most about this season of changes are the smells. Wet damp leaves on the ground squelching underfoot. Dry leaves that just beg to be kicked or thrown into the air and the musty smell that comes with their fall around you. Raking piles of multicoloured leaves into piles just to run into them! The smell of turnips, swede and pumpkins! The hot meals that warm you through after a full days play!
Days that lead you into biting snowy winters. Days that demand every sense be given up to the sights and smells the season has to offer! That my friends is why for me every year without fail i love the Autumn!

Whats not to love!

p.s took David to the Dr....he is (in the Dr's own words) PERFECT! We even have a stickit signed and stamped by the Dr that says "David is Perfect!" Photo tomorrow!! He is a "perfect" happy boy! ( hate to say i told him so, but..nuh nuh!!)

Our new Nephew!!

Not that we are pleased with the latest addition to the family or anything but here are some of the photo's taken of Ben last Saturday when we went up to meet him!

The Sleeping Babe.

In his moses basket!

Looking to cute for words!I swear that he smiled at me!Don't they look pleased with their new cousin!

What is a house? A Home or Bricks and Mortar?

On Monday Octamom discussed her "old" home...where they lived with 6 of 8 kids and then the family moved..their house still has not sold and when they went back all the memories came back with lots of emotions.
Since Rich and I are hoping to drag the kids 1/2 way round the world to Tasmania it did get me thinking about all the places i / we have lived and which were houses and which if any were homes!

First a bit of background on us...
I am from a military background, i have never lived in ONE house for more than 7 years! I have lived in various countries and moved a lot within those countries!
Rich has moved less than me as a kid but a lot as an adult!
Our kids have lived in 8 homes in 3 countries!
So we really seem to be "nomads!"

I can remember what my houses looked like when i was 5 -8 years, 8 - 15 years, 15 - 17 years and then all the army accommodation and properties!
I do not remember the houses in Hong Kong or Dortmund pre age 5!
Have any of these houses been a home to me? That's the million dollar question really. None of them were "home ", as a child..home was always classified as any place Mum and Dad lived! If i was with them then i was home!
Then i left "home" and joined the army...Home now became the place where Mum and Dad were..."I'm going HOME on leave" etc!! So home was still technically where my parents rooted themselves!
At 21 i married Richard and home was the place where we lived together! Although his family thought it was their house "are you coming home for Christmas?" Yet my family had decided that Rich and were a family so we would be "visiting" at Christmas and no longer "coming home!"
We always talked as though our house was home when we married and our parents "homes" were just places to stop at in order to see family over the holidays!! But were no longer home!
Even after the kids came along whenever we say "it's at home, let's go home, wait till i get you home" (hehe) and other home orientated dialects we are referring to the place we currently live in with the kids!
So while to some the bricks and mortar are their home, their place in the universe that makes their family complete, i guess it is not he same for me. I think for me home is and always has been the one place where those i love are. If they are with me then i am home.
Of course this does bring the dilema of where will home be when the kids grow up and leave home!! But i am more than happy to wait to find that out!