A blast from the past got me thinking.

Not only am i a blogger, a tweeter and all other hats..i am a face booker too. I was reading some comments on a very old friends {old as in known a long time, 20+ years!} wall today. He is separated from his children's partner. His son has been in an accident recently and his ex wife is holding him {my friend} responsible for this! So i messaged him and offered to be an ear if needed!
I was pleasantly surprised when he called me up to chat! We talked life, old days, kids, everything! It was such fun! He really cheered me up..and i didn't know i was needing a pick-me-up!
I hope the call did him some good too.

But i have been thinking so much about the laying of blame. It's so sad when adults blame each other for things that happen with their children. Sure it's ok to think things, but to say them or write them where the children can see or hear is plain wrong and downright mean if you ask me.
Crumbs, every time Rich went away when he was a soldier, at least one of the kids got hospitalised! I never forget ringing him in Iraq to tell him, very tearfully, that i had "broken the baby". David had a broken arm and i was devastated. But if i think back to this time, or when Rae lost her two front teeth and had to have them reset or when David was hospitalised while Daddy was in Poland, my husband never once blamed me! And nor would he. Not because we're still married but because no matter what he knows i LOVE our children. I never blamed him when Rachel got a huge black eye in his care while i was working. If you are the one caring, whether you are married, together or apart for whatever circumstances, you WILL and DO beat yourself up about these things. Children get in accidents. It happens. I could not have stopped David breaking his arm, nor getting so ill he was in hospital for days, nor could Rich have stopped Rae getting her black eye but we still blamed ourselves. It's what you do. And kids get over it waaay before grown ups, showing off casts and stitches or bruises as if they were the coolest things.
So come on parents, do not blame each other for accidents that happen to your children. Accidents DO happen, think of the kids and put them first. If you love them anyway.

Something made me sad today....

There aren't too many things that really shock me, crumbs i was a soldier once. There aren't too many things that make me real angry or disappointed but today i overheard a mother and her child and i was just devastated for the poor kid. I do not know them, the child goes to my sons school. That is where any relationship with us ends. But as we were waiting to meet the girls, David and I stood by a tree outside the school gates. It was not raining hard but the awful fine mist that soaks you through! The child arrives at it's mother (term used so loosely here) and the conversation goes:

mother: "Why the f*** are you late?"
child: "My teacher wanted to see me. I got star of the day!" (child sounds quite pleased with self)
mother: " who gives a f*** I'm soaking wet, lets get f****** home."

My heart just broke. I do not know these people but i was so sad for that child. Star of the day is something earned, for being good, working hard and pleasing your teacher. It IS something to be celebrated not thrown away and stamped on. While the child had no certificate to speak of, it must have been truly crushed that its hard work did not please it's parent. I was absolutely astounded how a lady posing as a mother could be so cruel. So what she was wet, so what the child came out a little later than usual, is that not totally made up for by the teacher deeming it necessary to praise the child for its achievements?

My poor son looked at me and said
"That wasn't very nice was it Mum?"

I just hugged him. The hug of a Mum who loves her child whether good, silly, naughty or mean. He is my son and i love him regardless. Don't all Mums?

I hope the childs father was a little more receptive to the child's news.

So little person, whoever you are, I am taking a moment out of my day, even if you never ever read this, to say Well done to you. For being star of the day, for getting an award that was well deserved because it was well earned. be proud of yourself, I am proud of you.