Sunday, 19 April 2009

A blast from the past got me thinking.

Not only am i a blogger, a tweeter and all other hats..i am a face booker too. I was reading some comments on a very old friends {old as in known a long time, 20+ years!} wall today. He is separated from his children's partner. His son has been in an accident recently and his ex wife is holding him {my friend} responsible for this! So i messaged him and offered to be an ear if needed!
I was pleasantly surprised when he called me up to chat! We talked life, old days, kids, everything! It was such fun! He really cheered me up..and i didn't know i was needing a pick-me-up!
I hope the call did him some good too.

But i have been thinking so much about the laying of blame. It's so sad when adults blame each other for things that happen with their children. Sure it's ok to think things, but to say them or write them where the children can see or hear is plain wrong and downright mean if you ask me.
Crumbs, every time Rich went away when he was a soldier, at least one of the kids got hospitalised! I never forget ringing him in Iraq to tell him, very tearfully, that i had "broken the baby". David had a broken arm and i was devastated. But if i think back to this time, or when Rae lost her two front teeth and had to have them reset or when David was hospitalised while Daddy was in Poland, my husband never once blamed me! And nor would he. Not because we're still married but because no matter what he knows i LOVE our children. I never blamed him when Rachel got a huge black eye in his care while i was working. If you are the one caring, whether you are married, together or apart for whatever circumstances, you WILL and DO beat yourself up about these things. Children get in accidents. It happens. I could not have stopped David breaking his arm, nor getting so ill he was in hospital for days, nor could Rich have stopped Rae getting her black eye but we still blamed ourselves. It's what you do. And kids get over it waaay before grown ups, showing off casts and stitches or bruises as if they were the coolest things.
So come on parents, do not blame each other for accidents that happen to your children. Accidents DO happen, think of the kids and put them first. If you love them anyway.


Cathy said...

Great points in this post!

Boy Mom said...

Very wise council, blame does no one any good. Reaching out to friends always gives me a lift.

How are you recovering from your surgery?

How is Rebecca?

Thinking of you.

miruspeg said...

Excellent, excellent advise Gill.

The Blame Game....unfortunately we all partake in it from time to time.

Hope you are on the mend Gill and how is Rebecca?



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