A blast from the past got me thinking.

Not only am i a blogger, a tweeter and all other hats..i am a face booker too. I was reading some comments on a very old friends {old as in known a long time, 20+ years!} wall today. He is separated from his children's partner. His son has been in an accident recently and his ex wife is holding him {my friend} responsible for this! So i messaged him and offered to be an ear if needed!
I was pleasantly surprised when he called me up to chat! We talked life, old days, kids, everything! It was such fun! He really cheered me up..and i didn't know i was needing a pick-me-up!
I hope the call did him some good too.

But i have been thinking so much about the laying of blame. It's so sad when adults blame each other for things that happen with their children. Sure it's ok to think things, but to say them or write them where the children can see or hear is plain wrong and downright mean if you ask me.
Crumbs, every time Rich went away when he was a soldier, at least one of the kids got hospitalised! I never forget ringing him in Iraq to tell him, very tearfully, that i had "broken the baby". David had a broken arm and i was devastated. But if i think back to this time, or when Rae lost her two front teeth and had to have them reset or when David was hospitalised while Daddy was in Poland, my husband never once blamed me! And nor would he. Not because we're still married but because no matter what he knows i LOVE our children. I never blamed him when Rachel got a huge black eye in his care while i was working. If you are the one caring, whether you are married, together or apart for whatever circumstances, you WILL and DO beat yourself up about these things. Children get in accidents. It happens. I could not have stopped David breaking his arm, nor getting so ill he was in hospital for days, nor could Rich have stopped Rae getting her black eye but we still blamed ourselves. It's what you do. And kids get over it waaay before grown ups, showing off casts and stitches or bruises as if they were the coolest things.
So come on parents, do not blame each other for accidents that happen to your children. Accidents DO happen, think of the kids and put them first. If you love them anyway.

Too much pressure.

So i have had my first week in my new job. You know what? I love it! It's relaxed, it's not run with a military precision with all the expectations of children achieving because the paper work says they have to. It's FUN. We don't expect, we don't push to achieve..we PLAY, a lot!
So i got to thinking (seriously dangerous for me!) about all the pressure put on child care workers and preschool teachers to make sure these little children achieve set goals before or at a certain age. It infuriates me so much.
Example -

1. A Mother keeps her child at home for the first 5 years of life. No expectations from Ofsted or anyone else. They child is loved, happy and confident and can DO lots of things.

2. A child goes to nursery at 3 years of age, they are assigned a "key worker" who is their primary carer in the setting and who watches said child like a hawk, logging all the things the child can do and encouraging the things that the child is not ready to do, so that they are eventually all done before the child starts school. All ticks in boxes. Ofsted happy.

3. Full day care children are like the nursery children but they are watched from approx 4 months until 5 years. With expectations to achieve everything in the the boxes before they leave. It's the same within the setting of a child minder. All ticks in boxes again Ofsted happy.

Now i have NO problem with any of the settings above, be the children at nursery, full day care or with a child minder but why oh why are we putting so much on these little people to be able to do so much before they begin school.
Surely the joys of being a child are just that? Being a child.

Did it not occur to anyone that each child IS an INDIVIDUAL and WILL progress at an individual pace? They wont all walk at the same time, or talk in sentences or write their names so why are they all being "assessed" from the same criteria?

I really feel that children who stay home, who play with Mummy, bake with and watch Mummy do chores and play with their toys as and how they like probably learn more, are probably happier and from my experience get on better when they begin school.
Sure as parents we like to see how the children are progressing but I'd rather hear the words polite, happy, helpful, fun than be told..has learned to..can now....should now be...

Maybe i am just really old fashioned? What do you guys think?
For the record mine all went to nursery...all 3 of them....but not till they were 31/2 years and I never expected of them. I sent them there to be social and to give them a break from me!!
Is this the same in your country? I think the UK are doing paper work for paper works sake!

(ofsted is our child setting / schools governing body in the UK)